im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
