Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
