somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
