If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm at about main and main street
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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