We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
