She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
