I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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