He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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