you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
