There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
