You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
