This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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