I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize