Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
