Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
