Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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