Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
