It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
