his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
