What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
