After last night, I could never be a politician.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
