Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
