How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
