I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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