White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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