ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
