do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
