Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
