The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
