wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
