WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
