woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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