I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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