I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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