Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize