Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
