I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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