If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
