it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
