I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm bleeding and have questions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
