i jhust puked up my retainher.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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