She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
