woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
