so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
