so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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