I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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