whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
