I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
