how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize