you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm always down for nudity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
