I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize