David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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