if you like me you must not know who I am
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
