two words: eviction party
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize