STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
