I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
