Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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