return my video game
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
