AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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