Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
